Drunk and Depressed, Skittish and Hurt
by Satan Abraham
Summary: It took Howard a while to realize that Orc was feeling worse than usual. [oneshot] [takes place at the way end of plague] [sort of orcward? not really. it's orc and howard.] [bein' bros]


It took Howard a while to realize that Orc was feeling bad. Er, worse than he usually felt – it wasn't like Orc was this huge, happy, cheerful guy all the time, because he was normally pretty drunk and depressed. But now he looked worse than usual.

"Hey, man-" Howard said, reaching out and then remembering the pain in his nose and withdrawing. "You alright?"

"They almost killed me," Orc said. His voice was dull. Lifeless. " _Almost."_

"Yeah, but they didn't," Howard said. "You're fine, right? Should I try and get Lana to come over and see if she can-"

"I'm fine," Orc said, his rumble cutting through Howard's voice, which was getting higher with every word. "I wish they would have done it."

"No you don't," Howard said. Orc looked at him, baleful, and Howard's heart dropped into his stomach. "C'mon, big guy, you don't really-"

"No, _you_ don't really," Orc said. Howard took an unintentional step back. It was weird, how one thing could change a friendship. He tried not to let it bother him – Orc hit a lot of people, and Howard didn't think that he'd done it on purpose, he was just drunk and angry and Howard had tried to take away the bottle – but, really, it _did._ Orc had never hit him before. Had never really hurt him before. And now every time Orc raised a hand, or even looked around too fast, Howard was scared.

He really needed to work on that. Because without Orc, where was he?

"W-what?" he said, trying hard to keep his voice even and not quite managing it.

"You just want me because it helps you," Orc said. "Because without me you'd be dead."

"Well – yeah, that's probably true," Howard said. He swallowed. "But that doesn't mean I don't like you, man."

Orc looked at him, a little skeptical, and Howard kept going.

"I mean, c'mon man, you're my best friend. My only friend," Howard said. "And, yeah, you're useful in a fight, but you always _have_ been. I really freak when I can't find you, big guy, and that's not just because you're boss at fighting. You're the only guy who kinda likes me."

Orc was quiet, and Howard thought for a bit that Orc was going to go back to the other thing. The thing that was kind of true, had been true when Howard had first approached Orc with a smile and a compliment and an offer to go out to the new Marvel movie, way back before the FAYZ had ever been a thing. But eventually Orc smiled, and Howard let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"You really mean that?" he asked, and Howard nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, man," he said. "We're like, a team. We like each other, and I make sure that they pay you when they use you. And people don't mess with me because of you. It's not like a one-way deal. I do my part."

"Yeah," Orc said, nodding. He paused for a few moments and then said, awkward. "Sorry about hitting you."

Howard bared his teeth in a smile. "It's alright," he said. "You were freaking out, right? I don't blame you."

"No," Orc said. His voice was thick. "I'm already turning out too much like my old man. I don't… I don't want to…"

Howard hesitated, but reached out and put a hand on Orc's elbow. "Really," he said. "It's fine. You were-"

"Drunk," Orc said. He spoke the word like it was completely empty. "I was drunk."

"Man, you're always drunk."

"Yeah, 'cause of you," Orc said, but there wasn't much in his voice. Howard hesitated, a little unsure how to approach this.

"Man, don't you want to?" he asked. "You get real pissed if you don't have a bottle."

Orc was quiet for a while then, and that made Howard sort of nervous. So he stood tall so that he could pat Orc on the shoulder and grinned up at him, even though it hurt his face and even though his chest sort of tightened when Orc looked at him.

"Glad you're back, man."

* * *

 **So, I was finishing up a re-read of Plague, and the bit where Howard and Orc sort of… see each other for the first time after Orc smacks him and then runs off with Astrid and all of that stuff. So I decided that it's been a long time since I've listened to my 8tracks mix for them on repeat and like, man, I'm going to write it.**


End file.
